


Three Times Rahm Emanuel was Awesome

by reserve



Category: Firefly, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Crack, Drabble Collection, Gen, I don't even know what I was thinking, really this is nutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:59:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reserve/pseuds/reserve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rahm Emanuel is the Cardiff rift, Rahm Emanuel directs the Mossad, Rahm Emanuel is hot shit, Rahm Emanuel's balls hold up the universe, if Barack Obama is your new bicycle, then Rahm Emanuel is your new hit and run. Rahm Emanuel approved these drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times Rahm Emanuel was Awesome

**_Firefly_ , Mal/Rahm**

>   
>  Mal Reynolds found himself looking up at the sky from the very unmanly position of ground.
> 
> "What the _gorram_..."
> 
> "Shhhh," said a calming voice, as a not so calming foot landed on his chest.
> 
> "Who the...who are you?" Mal squinted at the man above him.
> 
> "I'm a big damn fucking nightmare," answered Rahm Emanuel, without budging an inch. "And I'm about to bring a world of trouble down on you and yours."
> 
> Mal's foot twitched.
> 
> "Bitch," said his captor.

  
  
**Rahm Emanuel, TI, and Inaugurations -- with some help from "The Chuck Norris Facts" list.**  
  


>   
>  _Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Rahmatorship..._
> 
> They've been discussing the inauguration balls' musical guests for hours when Barack interrupts, finally adding: "But he's a convicted felon!"
> 
> "Are we back to T.I. _again?,"_ Rahm snorts. "No one cares if he's been incarcerated. Let 'em dance to 'Live Your Life.'"
> 
> "It could send the wrong message." Barack shakes his head, along with his chopsticks. They've ordered in.
> 
> "No, it sends exactly the right message."
> 
> "What's that then?" questions an aide, bedraggled looking and obviously overtired, because no one questions Rahm Emanuel unless they want a righteous verbal swirly.
> 
> Rahm eyes him. "The message, you fuckwad, is that not only does everyone get a second chance, they get a first chance."
> 
> "Right," says the aide, backing off.
> 
> "Except for you," Rahm adds. "You can pack up your shit right now and get out."
> 
> There is a moment of awesome silence. Rahm Emanuel is the kind of man who can stare through five people at once.
> 
> "I got love for the game, but I'm not in love with all of it," mutters Barack, considering the fried rice.

  
  
**Rahm Emanuel: Better than Iron Man?**

>   
>  _Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Rahm Emanuel's basement."_
> 
> Secretary of State John Kerry suggests jokingly, "Well, I suppose we could just send Rahm to Afghanistan and let him take care of Osama Bin Laden.
> 
> President Obama looks thoughtful. "You know," he says, "that idea's not half bad."


End file.
